Human Design & Emotions
One of the things I love most about life is looking back and actually seeing how your path unfolds...because in my experience it almost always a different way then how you would expect it to be.
I never would have imagined I would have been introduced and fallen in love with the art of human design living in a hotel room 3,000 miles away from home, in Baltimore, Maryland!
My daughter, Kaitlyn was diagnosed with bi-lateral hip dysplasia at the age of 2-- the easiest way to describe this is her femurs were dislocated from her pelvic bone, they were sitting 2 inches above where they are supposed to be. We began her health journey with her 1st of many surgeries at Phoenix Children's Hospital. After each surgery she would be confined to a spica cast, from her chest to her toes. Through this journey she has had 15 surgeries on her hips, legs, knees and spine.
Her journey has brought us to the International Center for Leg Lengthening in Baltimore. Sometimes when a bone experiences trauma (aka multiple surgeries) it can grow at different speeds. This is what we were experiencing, with the hip dysplasia one leg was longer than the other. Lengthening a limb is not an easy feat and the ICLL team in Baltimore are the best of the best in this specialty, with my daughter's complex condition and history this was the best place for her. It was November 2020, COVID was still in full swing and now was the time to have this surgery. As a family we flew to Baltimore for the surgery, once she was released her and I would spend the next 6 weeks living in a hotel room as she went through weekly doctors' appointments, rehabilitation, & physical therapy until she was cleared to go home to continue the rehabilitation in Arizona. The week before Thanksgiving we said goodbye to her dad as he traveled back to Arizona to care for our son.
Living in a hotel room is not it's all cracked up to be! I was super thankful we were in a Residence Inn, so we did have a suite but no matter how you look at it, it's simply not home. It was winter in Baltimore; we were literally in and out of the hospital every single day. Our days consisted of hospital, hotel room, me working remotely, her doing school remotely and lots of movies and TV time. I did my very best as a mom to keep her spirits up, I knew how emotionally grueling this journey was for me, I could not even imagine what it felt like to be her, being 13, having all these emotions, plus the physical pain of growing her bone. We made a goal each week that we would venture out to visit a place we have never been before- we drove through the battlefields in Gettysburg, we experienced the history of Annapolis, we had days where we did not get out of our pajamas and watched Christmas movies all day... we were making the best of the situation with what we had.
As we were nearing the end of the year, a friend and I decided to take a goal setting online course that was centered around manifestation. We decided to be each other's accountability partners, have fun with the course to plan all the great things we would manifest in 2021. This was meant to be something to keep my spirits up so I could continue to keep my daughters up. Epically Aligned by Manifestation Babe manifestationbabe.com-- Kathrin Zenkina was a great mini course. I had been following Kathrin for a couple of years and I was excited to take this class to help get my mind in the right place, to remind me that this moment is not forever and that there is greatness on the horizon. In Kathrin's course she introduced us to human design, I had never heard of it before, and I was SO intrigued... I started pulling the charts of not only myself but my friends and family to see how uniquely magical we are were!
I specifically remember the day that I pulled mine and my daughters' charts. I am sitting in the chair in the hotel room as she is napping on the couch. I am in the very beginning stages of understanding the charts. In the class Kathrin taught us where to look for your emotions.
In human design when it comes to your emotions you can be defined or undefined. A defined emotion means that you can only feel your emotions-- what this means is you experience emotions for no specific reason, you can be happy for no particular reason, or you can be sad for no particular reason as well...this also means other people's emotions do not have an effect on you. This does not mean you cannot empathize with them; it simply means you will not feel an emotion because they are feeling it. In my chart this is ME-- I was dumbfounded as I have always had emotional waves but never understood them, to the point it made me hate my emotions--- I would be happy one moment and sad the next and then happy again. Knowing this it all made complete and total sense (understanding this has been lifechanging for me as I now LOVE my emotions because I understand them!!)
The other type of emotion is undefined-- this means that you will always have a reason for your emotions, if you are happy, you have a reason why. If you are sad, you have a reason why. Being undefined also means you are an empath as in you can feel and pick up on other people's emotions. When you do this, you magnify them.... which means if someone if sad and you pick up the sadness you now will also be sad, but the sadness will be much more intense. I look at Kaitlyn's chart and she is undefined!!! I remember thinking to myself OMG she is picking up on my emotions! We are living in small living quarters, going through the hardest journey that we have experienced to date and when I am having a moment, she can pick up on what I am feeling. I remember looking at her sleeping on the couch, and I could feel the tears running down my face, I was thinking how many times was I experiencing a down emotion, and she picked it up and it changed her mood from whatever she was being to what I was feeling? I cried for a bit, let out my mom guilt and then decided from that moment on I was going to be super cognizant of my emotions to ensure if I was having a down moment I would not project that out so she could pick up on it. Knowing this simple piece about both of our emotions I feel made a HUGE difference in making it through that portion of our journey.
We made it through those 6 weeks of being Baltimore residents--even more exciting we were not due to go home until the new year, but Kaitlyn and I manifested her being well enough to fly home 2 days before Christmas. Kaitlyn had another 3 months of rehabilitation back in our home state of Arizona, we flew back that March to have the external fixator taken off and moved into a leg cast...6 weeks later she was cast free and walking short distances with her crutches just in time for her 8th grade graduation.
I knew that day in Baltimore, that day when I was crying because of the realization of simply understanding your emotions can not only be lifechanging for you but for the people you love the most. That day I knew I had to know everything there was to know about human design which has brought us today. I have since taught Kaitlyn, now 15 years old how to understand the magic behind her emotions and when she is feeling a negative emotion, she now knows to ask herself the question--- do I know why I am sad, mad, angry etc... if she cannot pinpoint where that emotion is coming from, she now knows to release the emotion as it is not hers. This tool I hope is helping her navigate high school with a little more grace!
I just love so much that a chart that comes from your birthdate- month, day, year, time of birth & place of birth can provide you with so many tools to not only uncover and understand your magic but that you can utilize these skills in your everyday life. If you are interested in understanding your emotions, and the other magic that you encompass, schedule a personalized reading with me www.magicbydesignhd.com I would be honored to be a part of your magical journey!
My quote to end today: "For the highs and lows and moments between, mountains and valleys, and rivers and streams, for where you are now and where you will go. For "I've always known" and "I told you so" for "nothing is happening" and " all has gone wrong". It is here in this journey you will learn to be strong, you will get where you're going, landing where you belong."
-- Morgan Harper Nichols
xoxo Gina Marie