The Tigers in My Mind

When someone works with me, it’s never just about healing—it’s about remembering who they truly are. Michon came to me in the midst of emotional exhaustion, stuck in cycles of shame, fear, and self-doubt created by years of manipulation and trauma.

What you’re about to read is her raw, courageous story of facing down the “tigers” in her life—the people who made her question her worth—and how she reclaimed her power. It’s a powerful reminder that transformation is possible, even in the darkest moments. I’m honored to be walking beside her on this journey.

The tigers in my mind:

If my stomach could hit the floor, it would be there. There, in a splatter of shame and self-loathing. The second he walked into the room, the second I heard his voice, my toes curled. My 'spidey sense' (think my limbic system) buzzed, sending signals to my body, preparing me to 'run from the tiger'. He's the tiger. Has been, for years.

This tiger, this threat, started out as a friend, and plays that role whenever it's convenient for him. Whenever he needs something from me. Whenever he wants. He was so safe for so long that it hit me like a ton of bricks when he wasn't. When my hypothalamus clocked him as something I needed to be afraid of, to prepare for, to run from. Now, with every interaction, I'm poised for escape: heart pumping, sweat pouring, and can only think about one thing: safety. But safety can't come when I've let him in my head. When his words reverberate in my mind, haunting my every quiet moment. Feeding the fear. Keeping my sympathetic nervous system in functional freeze. Always.

The reverberations ricochet, bruising my head, bruising my confidence. My self-worth. My ability to function as a normal human being. I feel them deeply while I'm walking my dog, talking with my children, laying awake at night. You can't outrun the tiger in your own mind. He lives there, breathing shame. Breathing self-doubt. Changing me into someone I don't recognize. Someone who feels powerless to make a change.

So, I don't. I put my head down. I shrink. I surrender. I believe the story he is weaving about me. The story I've adopted as my own, that is telling me I'm worthless. And if I'm worthless, then what's the point of living? There isn't one. It's not a big leap for me to consider the next steps. To check my life insurance policy. To begin silently planning. Because that feels like the only solution. I am nothing. He is everything.

It's a pattern with him. He comes in every three to four months. Loses his temper. Screams at me. Attacks everything that is sacred to me: my children, my husband, my very being. Because he knows he can. Once he has stripped me of everything, when I'm sobbing with nothing left, and he can see he's won, he's built himself up with the scraps of my confidence and dignity, he apologizes. He knows I will accept the apology. Like a pathetic, panting puppy, I lick it up. Grateful for the relief. I walk away, telling myself it's over. That I made it through his tantrum. But it's not over. It follows me home. It follows me to bed. It follows me until I don't know who or why I am.

Recognizing the pattern was the first step, but didn't break me of the narcissistic, abusive cycle. At least I knew what was coming, could gird up my defenses and try to stop him from piercing my pathetic attempt at a shield by knowing the onslaught was coming. But I still didn't have the tools to fight. My shield did nothing. He saw right through it. It only excited him. One more piece of me to crush. To conquer.

I finally left. My lack of self-confidence and doubt made leaving all the more painful. I sobbed about it for months, over a year really. And then I started to heal, to put myself back together, piece by piece. Eventually, mercifully, I started to see glimpses of my old self. She'd appear, shyly, meekly, still untrusting of showing herself, but I eased her out of the shadows. She'd almost returned, when I met another tiger. Another narcissist, seeking her own form of satisfaction—feeding her own needs by invalidating mine.

When we met, she had me in an extremely vulnerable position. Knew how much I needed her help. Knew that she had control, and knew she could crush me, just to make herself feel better. Just to prove she was more. And the cycle started all over again, but this time, instead of months in between episodes, she unleashed her narcissistic power on me every couple of days. It was relentless. It was terrifying and deeply triggering.

Until Gina. I sent her several voice notes. Each one, she responded with clarity, empathy, and ideas. She reminded me this wasn't my fault. But it still left me asking, "then whose is it?" because I was the common factor and I couldn't see beyond that.

Gina did. She saw beyond it. She reframed the entire experience, calling me to rise up and build confidence, hold my own, and step into my power instead of accepting the narrative that was being fed to me. And that changed everything. It released me from feeling responsible, it showed me that I was not the problem, that the tigers always were. That they were feasting on my ability to mirror back to them the things they disliked most about themselves. I was always meant for more. And she helped me realize it.

The reframing, the ability to change the energy around my latest tiger changed everything for me. It quieted that tiger. It quieted the self-doubt and loathing in my head. And it changed the narrative. It changed the outcome. It changed the power dynamic. And I will never again let my toes curl when the tiger growls. I've got tools to face down the tiger, respectfully, in my own way, without any emotion or shame on my end. I've got peace. I know, inside, deep, that I'm so much more than any tiger would ever have me believe. It took Gina's tools, her insight, her thoughtful empathy and her calling me up to my power to reframe it, to change the dynamic, and lots of deep work, reflection, and journaling to level set, but I'm here now. And the change changed everything for me.

The tigers may still roar, but they've lost their power over me. I see them now for what they are: wounded creatures trying to feed their own hunger by devouring others. I'm no longer on the menu. Their voices may echo sometimes, but they're just echoes now—not truth. Not my truth. I've reclaimed my narrative, and it's one where I am whole, worthy, and wildly capable of facing down any tiger that dares to growl. This time, I don't run. I don't freeze. I stand tall, knowing exactly who I am.

And that knowing? It gave me the strength to build something from my own power. I started a heart-led finance business, where I help women reclaim their power with their personal money through my Cash Cascade system—because I know what it feels like to feel powerless, to believe someone else's narrative about your worth. I also serve as a fractional CFO and corporate trainer, helping small business owners gain clarity and peace with their finances through budgets, cashflow analysis, KPIs, and strategic planning. Whether it's a woman trying to break free from financial stress or a business owner seeking insights to grow, I guide them through their own transformations. These aren't just numbers anymore. They're tools of empowerment. They're ways to write your own story.

Because once you've faced down your tigers and won, you realize: you were never meant to stay small. You were meant to roar.

About the Author

Michon Covington is a Fractional CFO who brings over 20 years of financial leadership to the table, including past roles as both Chief Financial Officer and VP of Finance for multi-million-dollar companies. She holds a BS in Accounting and an MBA, and has guest lectured on finance and business strategy at Utah State University.

Today, she helps small business owners gain strategic clarity through cashflow modeling, budgeting systems, and executive-level financial insight. She adapted her Cash Cascade™ method from corporate finance strategy and used it to pay off her own home on one average income by age 36—without sacrificing takeout, sports camps, or summer vacations. Now, she teaches that exact strategy in her digital course, Cash Cascade Method, helping hundreds of high-achieving women gain clarity, confidence, and peace around their money.

A mother of three, crazy plant lady, and full believer in energy healing, Michon’s work sits at the intersection of strategy and soul—making money feel clear, calm, and completely aligned.

Learn more at: www.michoncovington.com

Instagram: @MichonPCovington

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/michon-covington/

TikTok: @MichonPCovington

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