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Embracing YOU

Magic by design HD Gina Leingang Energy Healing

It's so funny how life works, I knew that I was going to write today, but what I am writing is a complete 360 from the idea of what I was going to write.

I have always loved to dance. I have very vivid memories of growing up and being a teenager in the '90's locking myself in my room and putting the following CD's into my CD Player and putting it on Shuffle: Metallica, All 4 One, Boyz to Men, Alanis Morissette & Jewel. I would dance, move my body and make up all these different scenarios in my head about my current crush coming to fruition, life after I "grew up", pretending that I was this amazing outgoing girl instead of the quiet, shy girl that I really was. Dance to me was a way to really connect with the person I knew I was but was too scared to let anyone see outside the safety of the 4 walls of my bedroom.

I was never a "trained" dancer, I just enjoyed it. I took a dance class here and there but nothing extravagant. I don't really know what happened, maybe life, maybe growing up, but all of a sudden dancing was gone. I don't really know when it left, I didn't really notice it was gone until recently as it has made a huge re-entrance into my life... in my 40's!

As I have been on this "journey" for going on 5 years now, dance and movement were messages that first started coming in. They were also the messages that I avoided like the plague.

I remember my first visit to a Shaman; she told me she saw me dancing and singing as a little girl and told me I needed to embrace that piece of me. I remember thinking, nope, not me. Then I found myself unconsciously singing and moving my hips as I was making breakfast one morning.

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I remember ordering something off of Etsy and when I opened the package it came with an oracle card as a thank you message. The card said: Dance with Life: Do something to change your energy. I remember thinking, oh that's a cute idea to put a message in a package and not thinking anything more. I later used that card as a bookmark in a book I was reading, and then forgetting it was there. Again, oblivious to the message. I found this card again a couple of months ago, and thought to myself, hmmm.

In March 2022, I enrolled in a 5-month manifestation program which changed my life in so many ways. In this program I was introduced to the energy release method called shaking, where you literally put on a song and begin to shake your body. This program also introduced me to rage dancing, another way to move energy out when you are mad, frustrated etc. I tried them both and really enjoyed the shaking but felt that rage dancing was too much for me. This class also introduced me to breathwork, which was the beginning of me waking up my feminine energy.

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I specifically remember a breathwork session I was doing, (for those that do not know what breathwork is, it is a form of conscious breathing, usually paired with music to allow energy to open and flow throughout your body) I was lying down on my bed with an eye mask (having an eye mask helps me in breathwork to really to become present in the moment and lose myself in my breath and the music) and this song came on and I got up from a lying position and began dancing in my bedroom. It was a very different type of dancing, I felt like my body was waking up, my feminine energy, my sensuality, my ability to receive, to respond to life was waking up. After that specific song was done, I returned to bed, and finished my conscious breathing. It was that session that my feminine energy began to wake up.

When we look at energy, every single one of us has masculine & feminine energy. Take away assigning male or female to this energy, it is simply masculine and feminine. The masculine energy is our ability to move and shake, bringing things into reality. Its creating by doing. The feminine energy has a softer tone to it, it allows us to respond to life, to receive what we desire. Both energies are needed and not one is better than the other. Life, society has a very masculine tone, and it is changing subtly to a more feminine energy.

Anyways, back to my story! When I look at myself, I am the first person to admit that it is not easy for me to release control, to trust that everything I desire is coming in at the most divine timing. My entire life, I have also been scared to "let go" to fully embrace being in the moment. Being so moved and consumed by that breathwork really shook me for a bit because it was at that moment I really started feeling that it is safe to release that control and just allow life to come with soft, guiding energy. Easier said than done right!?

After that breathwork session, I slowly began seeing little movements here and there come in, however I was still trying to control things, and quite frankly, I felt embarrassed, I felt dumb, and I kept talking myself out of fully allowing this piece of me to be seen. I felt like I was not good enough to fully embrace my feminine energy, my sensuality, to dance, to allow myself to move with the music from my soul. Music is such a huge piece of my life, I listen to music every single day, I was so frustrated that I could not fully let go and simply allow my body, my hips, my soul move to the music.

2023 was nearing its end, and I was reflecting, and I got one of those ideas that just dropped into my head, it made no sense, but I knew that I needed to follow the nudge. I signed up for a feminine energy class. This class I KNEW would push me further out onto my skinny branch than I have been, but I knew I needed to do it. So, I signed up and prayed that I was strong enough to fully embrace this piece of me and release control.

I have now been in the class for 4 weeks and yes, it is pushing me in the softest way ever to become comfortable being uncomfortable and truly embrace my feminine energy. The first class was via zoom, and we had the opportunity to dance for 3 minutes to a song the instructor put on. I froze, my camera was on and now I need to dance?!?! Are you kidding me?!?! I told myself when I signed up for this class that I would embrace being uncomfortable and here we are 10 minutes in and I'm uncomfortable. The instructor said the most beautiful words ever-- she said do not worry that your cameras are on, nobody is watching because each of us are fully emerged in moving our bodies, and guess what?! She was right! I got up, I danced for the entire song in my bedroom, on camera and I didn't die or embarrassment. Actually, I felt the opposite, I felt so incredibly empowered, I felt confident, I felt sensual, I had this feeling of complete and total raw power begin to emerge through me. And this is where I have been for the last month, completely embracing the skin that I am in, my energy, both feminine and masculine and the core being of who I am.

I have now incorporated dance into my daily life, being intentional and moving energy in the flow of moving my body. Closing my eyes as I dance around my bedroom, my office, my living room. Dancing with my eyes open, watching myself in the mirror and smiling at myself, knowing that I have brought a piece of me home. 16-year-old me, moving through her teenage years through dance, is now 43-year-old me moving through life though movement and dance and guess what?! I am SO incredibly proud of myself. This is the first time in my life that I am allowing ease and flow into my life, that I am releasing that control and just being me. That I don't care if someone comes in and sees me mid dance, that I am PROUD of not only who I am but my journey of how I have gotten here.

You always hear the saying "Dance as if no one is watching" I understand this now. This is saying just be you, the beautiful, quirky, amazing, loving soul that you are. I am me, this is the only person I can be, and I am so incredibly proud of me and that I get to continue to shine my light in this world just by simply showing up as me.

To each and every one of you reading this, I invite you to join me, join me in being unapologetically you! Dance if you want to dance. Sing if you want to sing. The most important thing is do what makes YOU happy in this present moment, because this moment is the only time this specific moment will be here.

Today during my dance, I got the idea that I actually want to take a belly dancing class-- I cannot wait to see when that will divinely come into my life-- oh and don't worry I can see a blog being written about that!

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Carpe diem!

xo, Gina Marie

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